New pet peeve: Memes and headlines that say “XYZ News Story/Social Issue Exists and No One Is Talking About It.”
People share these on Facebook or Reddit or anywhere, really, without adding a comment regarding the thing that no one is talking about. And then comments pour in about how the commenter knows about this thing but nobody else knows, or how the commenter agrees this is important but no one else thinks it is, or even just shame on the news media and on society for not talking about this important issue.
And I hate it. So much. Because in all of the talk about how no one is talking about the thing – NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT THE THING!
This pet peeve has developed over years I'm guessing, but I wasn’t fully aware it had become a pet peeve of mine until just yesterday when I saw some random meme a friend shared bemoaning some truth that no one is talking about, and I felt a comical sort of rage well up inside me and an internal voice screamed at the top of its imaginary lungs, “DON’T SAY NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT IT – EXPLETIVE TALK ABOUT IT!!!!”
I started de-meme-ifying my communications a while back. I still enjoy reading memes and clicking ‘like’ when I experience enjoyment or satisfaction or agreement. I’ve learned that sometimes it is nice to just surface-level agree without deep thoughts. I still read headlines and don’t follow up by reading the story far more often than I do follow the link and read it through. I’ve learned that always there are too many news stories to read everything, so I have to pick which to give my time to and which to let slide.
And also.
Since de-meme-ifying my communications, I am less likely to jump on a “Yeah!” “This!” bandwagon. I am more likely to get annoyed by memes that say things I agree with but that use judgment words or inflammatory language or that seem to dismiss the complexity of an issue with some boiled down truism – even if I agree with those things. And this past year, I find myself thinking, “I agree with this... but what if it was created by a Russian bot? Is this the sort of meme designed to increase the division between me and those with whom I disagree? Is this useful? Is this helpful? Does this help increase understanding of this issue or does it just polarize the issue?”
Since de-meme-ifying my communications, I am also far less likely to read a shared news story if the person who shares it doesn’t articulate why they think it is worth my time to read. “Seriously, read this” or “OMG THIS” or “I couldn’t have said it better” doesn’t add to the conversation, doesn’t tell me why the person thinks it was important to share, and doesn’t give me any insight into my friend’s perspective or experience or understanding. Unless the article is something I am already predisposed to be interested in, I’m going to need a sentence at least that says “This topic is important to me because of this reason, and I think it is insightful that the article takes this perspective.” THAT is the motivation I require these days to follow a link I wouldn’t normally follow.
And, it turns out, since de-meme-ifying my communications, I want people to talk about what they have to talk about. That is, I get kinda pissy when they don't. And seriously, I get it, we can’t talk about everything. But I want to know what you have to say. And as of yesterday (or possibly months ago and I just didn’t realize it until yesterday), I officially cannot stand it when people talk about how people are not talking about something... rather than just talking about the thing. Just talk about the thing! Tell me what you have to say. I want to know. I’ll listen.
