I've been thinking about the Black Lives Matter movement. I've been thinking about black and brown folks being shot during what should have been a routine encounter with police. I've been thinking about the videos I've watched of these encounters. I've been thinking about the trials, the outrage, the demonstrations, the facebook hashtags. I've been thinking about other folks saying "it's just a few bad apples" or some other dismissive remark. I've been thinking about how many times I've let my outrage go, moved on to other things.
I've been thinking about Standing Rock and the protectors out there. I've been thinking about how the pipeline was moved from upriver of Bismarck to upriver of the Res because it was thought to be a threat to water quality. I've been thinking about how minorities are disproportionately exposed to environmental pollutants, environmental devastation. I've been thinking about the treaties we've broken with the Natives here, and yet still we take, still we demand, still we pollute, still we leave nothing but devastation. I've been thinking about other folks saying "but that wasn't me, it's not all America" or some other remark minimizing our gain. I've been thinking about how many times I've let my outrage go, moved on to other things.
I've been thinking about Muslims. And Mexicans. And immigrants. And refugees. And trans folks. And queer folks. And women. I've been thinking about how much discussion there has been in our public and political spheres these past two years about our various rights, as people, our various experiences, as people, our various oppressions, as people, our various threats, as people. I've been thinking about other folks saying "yes, but" over and over and over again.
Trump bragged about assaulting women and outrage arose, and sustained, and I felt it personally and professionally because suddenly sexual assault permeated every moment of my life at home and at work and on the internet and still, still, still. I couldn't help wondering.
Why is this worse than the other things? Is it just because it finally touched straight, cis-gendered white people? Did I care?
Because here is something else I've been thinking about. In May 2015, when Rep. Keith Ellison said that Trump might wind up leading the Republican ticket, George Stephanopoulos and the others at the table laughed. And later, some pundit or comedian, maybe John Oliver or Trevor Noah I'm not sure, made the point that you know, minorities have been saying for months, for years, forever, that things were bad in this country. That racism still exists, and is still bad, and is still impacting our everyday lives and permeating our existence. Maybe we should have been listening.
Finally, it seemed, people were listening.
And then it still wasn't enough.
Last week when Trump surrogates started using the Japanese Internment Camps as proof of legal precedent for a Muslim registry program, I heard a pundit on NPR (apologies, I don't know who or what program) say that he believed we may be one traumatic event away from the mass hysteria required to make something like this a reality in our country again. The host responded with frank disbelief. I thought back to Rep. Ellison's comment and the hosts' laughter and I thought, "We're still not listening."
I've been walking this line lately as I think. I'm trying to avoid alarmism. I'm trying to avoid not listening. I think it is time to take this seriously, this undercurrent of desperation-fueled hate that is gripping our country. Because I see white supremacists re-marketing themselves "alt right" and flooding back into the mainstream with blatantly neo-Nazi slogans and chants and speeches and memes and news media. And I want to say things like "it's just a few bad apples" or "that's not me, that's not all America" or "yes, but" over and over and over again.
I don't want to dismiss this, diminish it. I don't want to deny the information before my eyes, stand firmly in denial of the truths that have been repeated again and again by Black and Native and Muslim and Latino people, by immigrants and refugees and trans folks and queer folks and women.
In psychology, the term "denial" doesn't mean to say something doesn't exist or is not happening. If I am in denial about losing my job, it does not mean that I show up to work on Monday. Rather, "denial," in psychology, means to minimize the importance of something that is important. If I am in denial about losing my job, I say it is the best thing that ever happened to me even has my electricity gets shut off because finally I have me-time.
Are we in denial about how racist this country is? How sexist? How xenophobic? Saying "yes, but" and dismissing it in this way or that so that we never take seriously the severity of the problem that remains?
Are we in denial about Trump's policies, his appointments (white supremacists, climate change deniers, oh and a new billionaire secretary of education who wants to defund public schools), his plans?
Are we being realistic by saying "this isn't America" or are we dismissing real concerns? Are we being reasonable by saying "few bad apples" or are we diminishing the true implications of these steps?
I don't want to be an alarmist. But I don't want to be in denial.
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