Let me tell you a story: Boy Scouts

Let Me Tell You A Story: Healing Our Relationships With The Earth, With Others, and With Ourselves 

The following is a segment in the multi-part Let Me Tell You A Story series. This series is focused on identifying, describing, and understanding aspects of my culture(s) that are largely invisible, but that are traumatic to the earth, to outgroups, and to ourselves. I am not the only person to have noticed that our society is sick, and I am not the only person to explore this sickness in the hopes of healing. This series is as much a personal exploration as it is a critical examination of our society. This series is a starting point for consideration and conversation. You are invited to come along.

Come in, sit down. Let’s talk.

Trigger warnings: Attempted sexual assault, Trump quotes 

Let me tell you a story: Boy Scouts

Let me tell you a story. When I was sixteen, a friend tried to sexually assault me in the back of our friend’s parents’ van. We were all out – a pretty large group of us. We got to our destination and everyone piled out. He blocked me in and closed the door and climbed on top of me. I struggled and yelled at him to get off of me, to let me out, but I was consumed in the dread you feel when you realize you are entirely powerless in a situation. He was stronger than me and there was no room to get free, no possibility for escape. Everyone had already gone inside; they hadn’t waited for us.

This was not the first time, nor was it the last time, that I was made to feel entirely powerless, completely helpless, in the grip of a boy or man.

But this time I was saved.

The van door slid open and our friend, an Eagle Scout, pulled him off of me, helped me out of the van, pushed him back when he tried to attack me again, and basically made me feel secure.

Did he know the extent of the assault that was threatened? I don’t know. Maybe it looked like we were joking around and it went too far. Maybe it looked like our friend was trying to sexually assault me. Whatever it looked like, it looked like I did not want to be a part of it, and so he stepped in and put a stop to it.

I didn’t realize the extent to which this situation is connected in my mind to the character of Eagle Scouts until earlier today when I read about Trump’s 2017 address to the Boy Scouts. He went off on some petty, partisan rant like he always does, barely making sense as he calls up every supposed demon he has fought and vanquished – fake news! Hillary Clinton! Whatever, whatever. This man speaks solely in rally cries. He doesn’t complete sentences, let alone constructive thoughts. He moves from one phrase you can cheer for to the next with little content in between, but it’s fun to cheer so the crown leaves happy. 

Here’s some cheering talking points he gave at the Boy Scout Jamboree:

Boy Scout values are American values. And great Boy Scouts become great, great Americans.

(APPLAUSE)

As the Scout Law says, a scout is trustworthy, loyal -- we could use some more loyalty I will tell that you that.

(CROWD CHANTING)

There is more to that sentence of Scout Law, many more values that he didn’t get around to naming because he always gets hung up on that loyalty thing. He doesn’t circle back to it either. He goes on to talk about perseverance, which I agree is a great value – it’s one of my favorites – but it’s not in Scout Law. And then, of course, he moves right on to talking about the size of the crowd and then “fake news.”

If you were wondering, the full sentence of Scout Law that he didn’t complete is:

A Scout is Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent.

My friend who was an Eagle Scout, and my son who is working on becoming an Eagle Scout, work hard to embody all of the values of Scout Law, and moreover a wide variety of other good values. My friend worked hard to be a good citizen as a teenager even if and when others made fun of him for bothering to try and be a good person (being a good person is not cool when you’re a teenager). He didn’t seek to self-aggrandize himself, his loyalty wasn’t to blindly follow leaders who don’t espouse his values, and he didn’t seek to have power by making others powerless .

This is really hitting me today because not even a year ago this man running for President talked about how he was so powerful that he could do anything to women, even grab them by the p****, and he could get away with it.

And now he’s in front of the Boy Scouts, calling for loyalty.

Trump would never have been an Eagle Scout. He reminds me of one of the people in my story, but it is not the Eagle Scout.